Cat Ipsum

Pushes butt to face eat grass, throw it back up jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, yet spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy), or annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose twitch tail in permanent irritation. Fall asleep upside-down. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Run up and down stairs pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space cat slap dog in face fight an alligator and win and my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet or warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats. Cat mojo this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! friends are not food. Take a big fluffing crap 💩 chase dog then run away,bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard ooooh feather moving feather! cat mojo bite off human's toes i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me and scratch me there, elevator butt dead stare with ears cocked. Leave fur on owners clothes howl uncontrollably for no reason meow and walk away you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Stare out the window attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intentlyfor i like frogs and 0 gravity. Chew on cable. Leave hair on owner's clothes leave fur on owners clothes push your water glass on the floor or cats making all the muffins and throw down all the stuff in the kitchen. Allways wanting food loves cheeseburgers so my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day or pretend not to be evil yet lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls curl into a furry donut munch, munch, chomp, chomp. Pet me pet me don't pet me scream at teh bath, for pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms chew iPad power cord it's 3am, time to create some chaos for claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand but leave fur on owners clothes. Cough. Refuse to leave cardboard box chirp at birds. Catch mouse and gave it as a present purrrrrr.